Lately, my Quake playing has been REALLY bad. I'm not sure why this is but, it's annoying me quite a bit. Oh, I know what you're saying, either it's always been bad or I'm just going through a slump. I wish either of these were the case. For the last 2 months, I have not been able to play a game where my Rail accuracy was higher that 9%. In most cases, it has been 5% or less. I've never had Czm or Lakerman type aim but, 20-25% was normal for me. Now, I can't hit anything and if I do, it's more than likely a lucky shot. As far as I can tell, nothing has changed to make me suck this bad. It has been bothering me to the point where I'm thinking of just quitting Quake (Q3A) to avoid the frustration.

What makes matters worse is my fiancée rocks at RA3. Not only is she very good, she's still learning and she gets noticeably better on a daily basis. This scares the hell out of me as I used to beat her regularly without much effort. Now, I can only hope to compete with her. Playing against Julie or somebody else and losing doesn't bother me. Being beaten by a better player is the way the game should be played. If I can play a decent game and get beaten, that's cool but, being beaten because I played like shit does bother me. It affects the way I look at the game and also makes me look like a whiner because I'm so frustrated with my gameplay.

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Since I last updated my .plan, I have changed clans twice. I was in Clan MoD for a while and then I left and joined Clan DoA. After only a few days in DoA, I left them and was invited to join fuGs which is the clan my fiancée is a member of. You're probably asking why I left these clans. I'll try to give a brief explanation. Clan MoD had a bunch of nice guys but, they didn't make what I consider to be good decisions as a clan. Their heart was in the right place but, the direction needed a bit of tweaking. Plus, there were a few really bad apples in the bunch that made it an unpleasant place to stay

Once I left MoD, I joined DoA, this wasn't planned, it just sort of happened. Some of the members of DoA were nice guys but, they were completely disorganized as a clan. They rarely held clan meetings, scrimmages and they didn't care about their clan image. In the 3 days I was in the clan, I learned that even nice guys have their moments. I was called a whiner by the clan leader because I asked when practices were held and why more than half of the members of DoA didn't play or even show up on irc. Oh, and being called various names like Faggot, Nigger and Bitch didn't help promote a good clan image either. Needless to say, I left.

After that, I continued to hang around with the guys (and gals) from clan fuGs and I was fortunate enough to be invited to join their clan. Now, there are certain things people look for in a clan. Some people need to be in the best clan they can be in, even if the clan is inactive or plays other games. Some people just want to have some buddies to play with and others want to be ultra competitive. If it was 3 years ago and I was in competitive shape like I used to be, I would love to be in one of the top clans. However, being older and basically past my playing prime, I have different reasons for joining a clan.

My clan motto has always been "I'd rather have 20 crappy players with great attitudes than 20 great players with crappy attitudes". In very rare cases do you find both in a clan and if you do, the clan has probably been together for 5 years and the newest member has been there 3 years. 

With fuGs, I found some things that I really enjoy. Most of the clan is older by Quake standards and just there to have some fun and play together. The second thing is that both Julie and I ping very well to their server so, it's fun to play on. The third and most important is that they are for the most part, the best bunch of people I have played with. Oh sure, there are little problems as there is with every clan but, this is a tight knit group and there haven't been any problems that can't be solved by a little chat.

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Wedding update. Yes, even though Julie has been kicking my ass at Quake lately, we're still getting married on September 16th. Things are going well, the wedding is paid for already as well as our honeymoon. The only thing I have to do now is convince Julie to show up. :) 

Aside from the "last month" stuff, we're all ready to go. I get emotional when I think of the wedding but, not because I'm scared or sentimental. Mostly because every time I think of the wedding, I think of how much I wish that my daughter could be there. Ah well, sorry to bother you people with this but, it still hurts like a bitch that she died. I'm trying my best to deal with it.

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Lyric O' the Day: (name that tune)

"I've been sitting here, trying to find myself. I get behind myself, I need to rewind myself.
Looking for the payback, listen for the playback. They say that every man bleeds just like me.
I feel like number one, yet I'm last in life. I watch my younger son and it helps to pass the time. 
I take too many pills, it helps to ease the pain, I've made a couple of dollar bills but, still I feel the same.
Everybody knows my name, they say it way out loud. A lot of folks fuck with me, it's hard to hang out in crowds.
I guess that's the price you pay, to be some big shot like I am."

Previous LOD was "The Way I Am" by USA artist "Eminem"

I received lots of comments (especially on irc) and e-mails regarding both my return to posting and the topic that was posted. 99.9% of these were great comments. There were a couple of others that actually made me angry. If you know me at all, you'll know that I rarely get angry at things that goes on in the on-line world.

The comments I would like to address are the the following. These were both received by e-mail.

1) "You only mention your daughter because you want us to feel sorry for you"

I have only one response to this comment. FUCK OFF! I would do ANYTHING to get my daughter back at any cost. If you think for one second that I would trade the memory of my daughter so that somebody would feel sorry, you're sadly mistaken.

2) "You just say controversial things so that you get more hits on your site".

I've tried to tell people this for years but, nobody seems to listen. I don't care how many visitors come to my site. Oh sure, the more the merrier. I love it when the site is popular. However, since I don't get paid any money for doing this, what does it matter?

A couple of years ago, I moved my site to the Barrysworld servers. Then I got the domain Methosq.com. When I setup the domain at Barrysworld, they gave me a sweet deal. Basically, it was free web space, unlimited ftp space and unlimited bandwidth for downloads etc. In return, they have their banners on my site. Any page view revenue goes to them. I agreed to this deal back then and I still think it's a fair deal for both parties.

As I've stated many time, I truly do this for the love of the game. I do NOT receive any money from this site.

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Lyric O' the Day: (name that tune)

"It's the one you put up when you don't give a fuck when you won't just put up with the bullshit they pull 'cause they full of shit too.
When a dude's getting bullied and shoots up your school and they blame it on Marilyn ... and the heroin, where were the parents at? 
And look at where it's at... Middle America, now it's a tragedy, now it's so sad to see, an upper-class city"

Previous LOD was "Imagine" by UK artist "John Lennon"

Hello again. Long time no see. Glad to be back. For those that have wondered where I've been for the past 11 months, I'll try to fill you in. The following things are very personal to me so, if you're waiting to read my Quake ranting, you may want to wait for my next update.

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During the past year, it has literally been the best and worst of times. I'll start with the worst.

On March 16th, 2001, my beautiful 15 year old daughter Kim was struck and killed while riding her bike on a local road. The killer was a 19 year old male, who drove his (unregistered) vehicle into the oncoming lane at 115 kph (71 mph) and hit her. Kim was killed instantly.

Hoony gave a brief mention on challenge-world and I received lots of e-mail and well wishes from many Quake friends and many people that I didn't know before this tragic incident. I want to give sincere thanks to all the kind people who cared enough to send some kind words. The sentiments helped greatly during a very tough time.

For those that are/were regular visitors to my site in the past, I'm sure you'll remember how proud I am of Kim and how much I mentioned her on this page. She accomplished more in her 15 years than almost anybody I have known. From being published in poetry books, winning National poetry awards, competing in marathons, winning many sporting awards, to being a champion Badminton player. 

Kim 1985-2001

At the risk of making this sound like a eulogy for Kim, I will end this by saying the following. I truly hope that none of you have to experience this kind of pain in your lifetime. There isn't an hour that goes by that I don't think of Kim and how much she was loved and how much she is missed. Losing something so precious has changed me forever. Having said that, with the help of family and friends, I am trying to cope with this tragic loss, as best I can.

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Now, on to the good news. Probably the biggest reason I was out of Quake for the last 11 months and not updating this site is because of a woman named Julie. I was introduced to Julie by my former "gorgeous blonde neighbor" in July, 2000. This was probably done to get me out of her hair so that I wouldn't bother her anymore. He plan worked flawlessly as I have been with Julie since then. To make a long story short, Julie and I will be getting married this September.

Julie aka [fuGs]Spot   

Interesting things to know about Julie...

• She's very smart
• She's very pretty
• She works for the Federal Government
• She started playing Q3 about 6 months ago and she is on par with my Quake skills
• She LOVES to play Quake3 on-line, any chance she gets
• She has just joined the Q3 clan called "Fugitives" and goes by the name [fuGs]Spot
• She will be starting an editorial page on Methos Quake called "Spot On" 

Now, if you were looking for a wife or girlfriend, how much better can you get than that?  :)

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Lyric O' the Day: (name that tune) For Kim

"Imagine there's no heaven. It's easy if you try. No hell below us, above us only sky.
Imagine all the people, living for today...

Imagine there's no countries. It isn't hard to do. Nothing to kill or die for and no religion too.
Imagine all the people, living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one. 
I hope someday you'll join us and the world will be as one."

Previous LOD was "Wild Horses" by UK group "Rolling Stones"