Lately, my Quake playing has been REALLY bad. I'm not sure why this is but, it's annoying me quite a bit. Oh, I know what you're saying, either it's always been bad or I'm just going through a slump. I wish either of these were the case. For the last 2 months, I have not been able to play a game where my Rail accuracy was higher that 9%. In most cases, it has been 5% or less. I've never had Czm or Lakerman type aim but, 20-25% was normal for me. Now, I can't hit anything and if I do, it's more than likely a lucky shot. As far as I can tell, nothing has changed to make me suck this bad. It has been bothering me to the point where I'm thinking of just quitting Quake (Q3A) to avoid the frustration.

What makes matters worse is my fiancée rocks at RA3. Not only is she very good, she's still learning and she gets noticeably better on a daily basis. This scares the hell out of me as I used to beat her regularly without much effort. Now, I can only hope to compete with her. Playing against Julie or somebody else and losing doesn't bother me. Being beaten by a better player is the way the game should be played. If I can play a decent game and get beaten, that's cool but, being beaten because I played like shit does bother me. It affects the way I look at the game and also makes me look like a whiner because I'm so frustrated with my gameplay.

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Since I last updated my .plan, I have changed clans twice. I was in Clan MoD for a while and then I left and joined Clan DoA. After only a few days in DoA, I left them and was invited to join fuGs which is the clan my fiancée is a member of. You're probably asking why I left these clans. I'll try to give a brief explanation. Clan MoD had a bunch of nice guys but, they didn't make what I consider to be good decisions as a clan. Their heart was in the right place but, the direction needed a bit of tweaking. Plus, there were a few really bad apples in the bunch that made it an unpleasant place to stay

Once I left MoD, I joined DoA, this wasn't planned, it just sort of happened. Some of the members of DoA were nice guys but, they were completely disorganized as a clan. They rarely held clan meetings, scrimmages and they didn't care about their clan image. In the 3 days I was in the clan, I learned that even nice guys have their moments. I was called a whiner by the clan leader because I asked when practices were held and why more than half of the members of DoA didn't play or even show up on irc. Oh, and being called various names like Faggot, Nigger and Bitch didn't help promote a good clan image either. Needless to say, I left.

After that, I continued to hang around with the guys (and gals) from clan fuGs and I was fortunate enough to be invited to join their clan. Now, there are certain things people look for in a clan. Some people need to be in the best clan they can be in, even if the clan is inactive or plays other games. Some people just want to have some buddies to play with and others want to be ultra competitive. If it was 3 years ago and I was in competitive shape like I used to be, I would love to be in one of the top clans. However, being older and basically past my playing prime, I have different reasons for joining a clan.

My clan motto has always been "I'd rather have 20 crappy players with great attitudes than 20 great players with crappy attitudes". In very rare cases do you find both in a clan and if you do, the clan has probably been together for 5 years and the newest member has been there 3 years. 

With fuGs, I found some things that I really enjoy. Most of the clan is older by Quake standards and just there to have some fun and play together. The second thing is that both Julie and I ping very well to their server so, it's fun to play on. The third and most important is that they are for the most part, the best bunch of people I have played with. Oh sure, there are little problems as there is with every clan but, this is a tight knit group and there haven't been any problems that can't be solved by a little chat.

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Wedding update. Yes, even though Julie has been kicking my ass at Quake lately, we're still getting married on September 16th. Things are going well, the wedding is paid for already as well as our honeymoon. The only thing I have to do now is convince Julie to show up. :) 

Aside from the "last month" stuff, we're all ready to go. I get emotional when I think of the wedding but, not because I'm scared or sentimental. Mostly because every time I think of the wedding, I think of how much I wish that my daughter could be there. Ah well, sorry to bother you people with this but, it still hurts like a bitch that she died. I'm trying my best to deal with it.

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Lyric O' the Day: (name that tune)

"I've been sitting here, trying to find myself. I get behind myself, I need to rewind myself.
Looking for the payback, listen for the playback. They say that every man bleeds just like me.
I feel like number one, yet I'm last in life. I watch my younger son and it helps to pass the time. 
I take too many pills, it helps to ease the pain, I've made a couple of dollar bills but, still I feel the same.
Everybody knows my name, they say it way out loud. A lot of folks fuck with me, it's hard to hang out in crowds.
I guess that's the price you pay, to be some big shot like I am."

Previous LOD was "The Way I Am" by USA artist "Eminem"